My Decision

My decision to serve came through a lot of praying and receiving revelation from the spirit through others.

              It started when I was watching the YSA Devotional with Elder Bednar. The main message wasn’t even missionary work, rather temple work, but for some reason the thought of missionary work kept popping in my head. It was random, but I had the impression to really pray and see if a mission was right for me, which is something I’d never done and never thought to do, I didn’t want to serve a mission before? But, I decided to pray and decided that in order to really know If it was right for me I needed to ask with the intent of doing what my answer was. Being okay with the answer I received and following through. So, I prayed about it for a couple days and didn’t receive anything, then three days later, my boss told me about a dream she had about me serving a mission. She said it was so vivid and so random, but she thought she would tell me and said she would support me on a mission. This felt like an answer to my prayers, and made me realize that God really does listen and I knew he was thinking of me and guided me, but me being my stubborn self was still unsure and needed more.

              

              Going on a mission would not be easy for me, I have student loans, a car loan, and a newly signed lease for the year. Despite it all, I thought of how I would be able to serve, I could always sell my car, sell my lease, and work out a payment plan for my loans, there would be a way. I wasn’t getting a direct yes or no feeling, but decided I needed to move forward with the decision and see how I felt about it.

I then talked to my mom, which was a touchy thing since she had left the church two years prior, she didn’t approve of the decision and it was really hard for her. I was conflicted, I wanted the support of my mom so bad, but I didn’t think I was going to get it. Financially, It would be really hard if I didn’t have my parents help and that’s when I had an unexpected visit from my sweet great uncle. He needed help with his camera and I went over to help him, we got talking and I eventually shared with him my plans of serving a mission, he offered to help financially and I once again felt the love of my Heavenly Father. I knew then that no matter the obstacle, I would have the recourses necessary to go on a mission.

Having the financial help eased my worries a lot, but I still wanted the support from my Mom. I prayed for her heart to be softened and felt the impression to share with her my earnest feelings about why I wanted to go on a mission and my testimony. It was a wonderful moment and as we talked, her heart was softened, she told me she felt as though God was speaking to her through me and he was telling her to come back. I once again felt my Heavenly Father’s love and knew how aware he was of me and that he never left my Mom. With my Mom’s blessing, I set an appointment to talk to my bishop, after two appointments with him and another with the stake president, they decided I was worthy and approved of my decision. It wasn’t till two weeks later that the mission portal was open and I could begin working on my papers.

 I submit my papers October 16^th and can’t wait to receive my call. I know the Lord is so aware of us and loves us so much. I know he has a plan for me and a plan for each of us individually. I have seen his hand in my life in every step of the way and I’m so thankful for this gospel. I encourage you, whether you feel inadequate or unworthy, or unsure, turn to him. Turn your life to him, he is waiting for you to come to him and he loves you.  This is a very personal story to me, but I know if there is someone out there this helps, I needed to share it.

-Heather